ElliottWJames
December 7th, 2002, 11:31 PM
OK, lets start swopping some lightbulb jokes - you know the type of thing;
"How many Zhodani does..."
"It take to change a light bulb? I knew you were going to say that!"
"How many Zhodani does..."
"It take to change a light bulb? I knew you were going to say that!"
trader jim
December 8th, 2002, 02:05 AM
how many lightbulbs does it take to change a human???? smile.gif
lesbates
December 8th, 2002, 02:23 AM
Originally posted by Elliott James:
OK, lets start swopping some lightbulb jokes - you know the type of thing;
"How many Zhodani does..."
How many employees of Famille Spofulam does it take to change a lightbulb?
"What! I'm not going in there! Ditzie's in there!"
or:
None, the place glows all by itself.
Les
OK, lets start swopping some lightbulb jokes - you know the type of thing;
"How many Zhodani does..."
How many employees of Famille Spofulam does it take to change a lightbulb?
"What! I'm not going in there! Ditzie's in there!"
or:
None, the place glows all by itself.
Les
notagoodusername
December 8th, 2002, 03:21 AM
How many X does it take to change a lightbulb?
...Hiver?
None, you end up changing it without realising you have aided its plans.
...Solomani?
Who are you determine change citizen? Come with me...
...Aslan?
I don't know, ask a female.
...K'kree?
None, they don't use lightbulbs and none of you meateaters will need to change it if we wipe you out instead.
And finallly....
...TMLers?
All of them. One to change it, 75% of them to flame him for changing a lightbulb that has served them well for years, and the rest to de-lurk and say that they would never get involved with this type of discussion.
And a 'sorry' to all who read this - it was early!
Shane
...Hiver?
None, you end up changing it without realising you have aided its plans.
...Solomani?
Who are you determine change citizen? Come with me...
...Aslan?
I don't know, ask a female.
...K'kree?
None, they don't use lightbulbs and none of you meateaters will need to change it if we wipe you out instead.
And finallly....
...TMLers?
All of them. One to change it, 75% of them to flame him for changing a lightbulb that has served them well for years, and the rest to de-lurk and say that they would never get involved with this type of discussion.
And a 'sorry' to all who read this - it was early!
Shane
trader jim
December 8th, 2002, 01:18 PM
Hey Shane...do i dectect an underlieing dislike of lightbulb jokes with a touch of sarcasum???..
heheheheheh ;)
great comeback..... smile.gif
heheheheheh ;)
great comeback..... smile.gif
DaddyDragon
December 8th, 2002, 01:34 PM
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
Regards,
Larry
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
Regards,
Larry
far-trader
December 8th, 2002, 05:45 PM
Originally posted by DaddyDragon:
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
Regards,
LarryI've seen it too, I think it's a .sig from the TML but can't recall who's (or where it might have been before that).
Hmm, let's see, just for you Larry, off the top of my head mind so it's probably a little lame...
Q: How many Vargr does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One charismatic leader and as many loyal pack members as he can command.
but...
...you really won't like the amount of random gunfire, unnecessary use of high speed open grav vehicles and howling associated with the 'aquisition' of the replacement lightbulb smile.gif
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
Regards,
LarryI've seen it too, I think it's a .sig from the TML but can't recall who's (or where it might have been before that).
Hmm, let's see, just for you Larry, off the top of my head mind so it's probably a little lame...
Q: How many Vargr does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One charismatic leader and as many loyal pack members as he can command.
but...
...you really won't like the amount of random gunfire, unnecessary use of high speed open grav vehicles and howling associated with the 'aquisition' of the replacement lightbulb smile.gif
themink
December 8th, 2002, 10:41 PM
How many Vilani does it take..
Why change anything, it is performing in a decorous and stable manner.
How many Merchants does it take to change a lightbulb
3 <pause> fifty plus sales tax, plus the local goods tax, plus a service fee.
How many Tigresses does it take to change a lightbulb.
1, but only to change it into a glowing hole in the ground.
Why change anything, it is performing in a decorous and stable manner.
How many Merchants does it take to change a lightbulb
3 <pause> fifty plus sales tax, plus the local goods tax, plus a service fee.
How many Tigresses does it take to change a lightbulb.
1, but only to change it into a glowing hole in the ground.
s-feige
December 9th, 2002, 03:48 AM
And my all time favourite :
How many PCs do you need to change a light bulb?
Five.
One to screw in the bulb, and four to lay down covering fire...
Have a nice day.
How many PCs do you need to change a light bulb?
Five.
One to screw in the bulb, and four to lay down covering fire...
Have a nice day.
Vargas
December 9th, 2002, 10:59 AM
Newts:
"Lightbulb? Please go to Window 37 and ask for form A-32b, scratch out Question 60a(1) and initial the scratched out Question, take the completed form to Room 17-180 and get a Maintenance Permit Form with Supplimentary Questionaire. . ."
"Lightbulb? Please go to Window 37 and ask for form A-32b, scratch out Question 60a(1) and initial the scratched out Question, take the completed form to Room 17-180 and get a Maintenance Permit Form with Supplimentary Questionaire. . ."
Vargas
December 9th, 2002, 11:00 AM
Virushi:
Waits patiently for the lighbulb to change itslef.
Waits patiently for the lighbulb to change itslef.
thedamnyankee
December 9th, 2002, 02:00 PM
How many Darians does it take to change a light bulb?
None, Our Highly advanced lightbulbs dont burn out. Wich is good, becuse no one remembers how to change them if we had to.
Christopher Schroeder
None, Our Highly advanced lightbulbs dont burn out. Wich is good, becuse no one remembers how to change them if we had to.
Christopher Schroeder
GBoyett
December 9th, 2002, 02:05 PM
How many Solomani does it take to change a light bulb?
One to supervise a trusted nonhuman alien in doing this important work.
;) :D graemlins/file_21.gif
One to supervise a trusted nonhuman alien in doing this important work.
;) :D graemlins/file_21.gif
Maspy
December 9th, 2002, 08:36 PM
How many Imperial Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?
.... :confused:
.... :confused:
far-trader
December 9th, 2002, 10:17 PM
Originally posted by Maspy:
How many Imperial Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?
.... :confused: Ya mean like...
IM Sgt. "Marine, take out that lightbulb."
IM Pvt. "YES SERGEANT!" <BLAM>
So I guess two Imperial Marines to change a lightbulb? ;)
How many Imperial Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?
.... :confused: Ya mean like...
IM Sgt. "Marine, take out that lightbulb."
IM Pvt. "YES SERGEANT!" <BLAM>
So I guess two Imperial Marines to change a lightbulb? ;)
rancke
December 9th, 2002, 11:21 PM
Originally posted by DaddyDragon:
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
That is one of Mike Metlay's lightbulb jokes. They were published in one of the official magazines. I think it was a TD or a MTJ, but it may have been a Challenge.
Hans
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
That is one of Mike Metlay's lightbulb jokes. They were published in one of the official magazines. I think it was a TD or a MTJ, but it may have been a Challenge.
Hans
Tobias
December 10th, 2002, 12:18 PM
Originally posted by DaddyDragon:
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
Regards,
LarryTraveller Lightbulb Jokes, including the ones mentioned here, were collected in an issue of the MegaTraveller Journal by DGP. There are also jokes of this type at Traveller-the silly Era.
Regards,
Tobias
P.S.: Does anybody get this one? Cause I don´t.
Q: How many Vargr does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: YES! (half-barked, half-insane laughter)
And one I've seen somewhere else, but can't remember where right now...
How many Droyne does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, it always takes six.
Regards,
LarryTraveller Lightbulb Jokes, including the ones mentioned here, were collected in an issue of the MegaTraveller Journal by DGP. There are also jokes of this type at Traveller-the silly Era.
Regards,
Tobias
P.S.: Does anybody get this one? Cause I don´t.
Q: How many Vargr does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: YES! (half-barked, half-insane laughter)
far-trader
December 10th, 2002, 03:08 PM
Originally posted by Tobias:
<snip>
P.S.: Does anybody get this one? Cause I don´t.
Q: How many Vargr does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: YES! (half-barked, half-insane laughter)[/QB]graemlins/file_21.gif
Oh yes! Please stop graemlins/file_21.gif
Sorry, I guess you gotta be or know the Vargr to get it. I'm afraid I can't explain it to a simple pinky, but tell you what, sign up with me for an extended tour through the extants next time I head out and we'll have you howling soon enough smile.gif
<snip>
P.S.: Does anybody get this one? Cause I don´t.
Q: How many Vargr does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: YES! (half-barked, half-insane laughter)[/QB]graemlins/file_21.gif
Oh yes! Please stop graemlins/file_21.gif
Sorry, I guess you gotta be or know the Vargr to get it. I'm afraid I can't explain it to a simple pinky, but tell you what, sign up with me for an extended tour through the extants next time I head out and we'll have you howling soon enough smile.gif
RabidVargr
December 10th, 2002, 03:17 PM
LMAO
RV
RV
BigBadRon
December 12th, 2002, 08:24 AM
I think this might be from the same source as the Droyne and Vargr ones...
How many Hivers does it take to change a light bulb?
*waggles fingers* Light bulbs? How primitive!
How many Hivers does it take to change a light bulb?
*waggles fingers* Light bulbs? How primitive!
woodmage
December 13th, 2002, 09:48 PM
Q: How many XBoat pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Lightbulb? Who needs light? I'm locked alone in this excuse for a starship a week at a time, you think I need light to get around?
A: Lightbulb? Who needs light? I'm locked alone in this excuse for a starship a week at a time, you think I need light to get around?
Golan2072
September 28th, 2005, 04:22 PM
IMTU:
Q: How many Inheritors do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: Ten: nine to scour (sp?) the Precursor ruins for a salvagable replacement bulb, and one to screw the old one out and the new one in.
Q: How many Solar Triumvirate government officials do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: One hundred: Ten to form an Investigative Comitee to investigate the circumstances of it's breaking; Twenty to fill the supply forms needed to get a replacement; one to actually replace the light bulb; four to oversee the operation; and 65 to appear on media and blame the Alliance and/or the Matriarchate for it's breaking, regardless of what the Investigative Comitee finds out.
Q: How many Solar Triumvirate Jump Troops do you need to change a light bulb?
A: One squad: one Lance Sargeant to give the order, one Private to replace the lightbulb, and the rest to parade around in Combat Armor and Gauss Rifles to ward off the (probably non-existant) Alliance forces who've broken the lightbulb.
(or, the version of the above joke which is told in the Solar Triumvirate Army):
Q: How many Solar Triumvirate Jump Troops do you need to change a light bulb?
A: One squad: one Lance Sargeant to give the order, one Private to try to replace the lightbulb and fail, and the rest to do pushups in the dark as a punishment for their squadmate's inept handling of the light bulb.
Q: How many Inheritors do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: Ten: nine to scour (sp?) the Precursor ruins for a salvagable replacement bulb, and one to screw the old one out and the new one in.
Q: How many Solar Triumvirate government officials do you need to replace a light bulb?
A: One hundred: Ten to form an Investigative Comitee to investigate the circumstances of it's breaking; Twenty to fill the supply forms needed to get a replacement; one to actually replace the light bulb; four to oversee the operation; and 65 to appear on media and blame the Alliance and/or the Matriarchate for it's breaking, regardless of what the Investigative Comitee finds out.
Q: How many Solar Triumvirate Jump Troops do you need to change a light bulb?
A: One squad: one Lance Sargeant to give the order, one Private to replace the lightbulb, and the rest to parade around in Combat Armor and Gauss Rifles to ward off the (probably non-existant) Alliance forces who've broken the lightbulb.
(or, the version of the above joke which is told in the Solar Triumvirate Army):
Q: How many Solar Triumvirate Jump Troops do you need to change a light bulb?
A: One squad: one Lance Sargeant to give the order, one Private to try to replace the lightbulb and fail, and the rest to do pushups in the dark as a punishment for their squadmate's inept handling of the light bulb.
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